On Friday night, Laura and I got out to see the play August: Osage County. While not the point of this post, let me just say that this play earns all the awards it’s gotten - especially the 2008 Pulitzer Prize for drama. Next time you’re in the city, get tickets and see this play. You won’t be disappointed.
The play is about a dysfunctional family - a pill-popping matriarch, a booze-loving patriarch, three daughters that have their own issues, and a couple of other characters that display dysfunctions of all sorts. Laura and I saw this play at the end of a hard week. Ira was sick with an ear infection and we were both anxious about his intensive feeding clinic. Sophia’s been in rare form as of late testing and pushing all the boundaries. Work always weighs heavy. To top it off, Laura and I just weren’t communicating well. We were feeling a bit dysfunctional, to say the least. The play on Friday night felt very real…with the exception of pills and booze, of course. 
The weekend didn’t offer any solutions. By the time Sunday morning rolled around, we felt we were at the apex of dysfunction - a son who was sick, a daughter who was mad at the world, and two parents who were having a hard time with simple conversations. Yeah, it made for a not so great Mother’s Day for Laura. Ugh.
By Sunday night, we were snapping out of it. Ira was feeling better, Sophia had made peace with the world and Laura and I started talking again. Even as I write this on Monday morning, we’re not at a 100% as a family but we’re on our way.
Dysfunctions and dysfunctional behaviors come and go and some stick around. Some are easy to deal with while others aren’t. Whatever the case and however severe, dysfunctions must be acknowledged and confronted. Acknowledgment and confrontation may not do away with the dysfunction but at least there is no more pretending. I’ve witnessed too many families acting as if all is well when indeed it is not.
At church on Sunday morning, I was trying to act as if all was well but it was evident it wasn’t. Finally, Laura said as she led us in singing, “Joe and I have had a hard week and maybe you’ll notice that today as we lead worship.” There was no more pretending and the weight of the dysfunctional week seemed lessened. And that led to things getting gradually better for all of us in the Hays household.
Welcome to the blog of Joe Hays, minister for Christ's Church for Brooklyn. We are a loving community of believers who seek to be the hands and feet of Christ, in service to our neighbors in Boerum Hill, Brooklyn and beyond.
Been there, done that and will see it again. Life is not always nice to us and sometimes it really stinks. I think we go through this at least two to maybe three times a month. Where we have one day that everything hits all of us! It makes me feel good that we are not the only family that deals with these issues. I hope it helps you too that you are not alone in this my friend. I know it makes me appreciate the days that are not so tough and go as to plan, somewhat!
One of the attributes that I cherish about you guys is you are NOT one of the “many families acting as if all is well when indeed it is not.” I love that Laura can stand in front of your community and admit the struggles of the week…just like you do on your blog.