spent

My lack of posting as of late is indicative not only of the business of life but also because I’m spent. My mom wrote me an e-mail today saying, “I know when my kids are struggling because they clam up.” She’s probably right. She usually is. Shhh, don’t tell her I said that.

This whole feeding thing is hard. Very hard. This past weekend was traumatic on many levels. You see, when we go home for the weekend, we’re instructed to keep up the routine - three eating sessions a day for thirty minutes a pop. Thirty minutes may not sound like a long time but it is when you have a kid who absolutely hates eating. To top it off, it was an extended weekend. You may have loved having Monday off but not us. It just meant another day of warring with Ira.

When I’m not concentrating on Ira’s feeding issues, I’m constantly thinking of the tutoring center dream that CCFB is chasing. It’s on my mind from the minute I wake up to the time that I finally close my eyes in the evening. We’re giving it a big push right now and hope to have something in place by the time school starts up in September. This could be huge.

With all of this, Laura and I are feeling really homesick. Another holiday weekend without family didn’t help. Laura and I both want nothing more than to be with family. And we’re both kinda sick of the city at the moment. We need a break. Thankfully, we have trips to St. Louis and Tahoka scheduled in the next couple of months.

I’m not asking for your sympathy here. You’ve dolled that out in large proportions for us over the past few years. In telling you about all this, I’m assuming that some of you are spent, as well. I want to remind us of a truth about God - He will, at the appropriate time, provide for the weary a cleft in the rock in which we can rest. He will cover us with his hand and will go ahead of us and prepare the way. And when rest has come, he will draw us out and lead us into that place he has prepared for us.

Bring on that cleft in the rock.

i recommend it

Maybe you’ve come across Justin Roberts on Noggin singing one of his award winning kids songs. Maybe you’ve read that critics love that he doesn’t dumb down music but instead writes creatively and intelligently. Or maybe you’re like me and didn’t know Roberts existed.

A friend of ours here in Brooklyn passed on one of Roberts’ CDs to us, Why Not Sea Monsters? The songs on the CD are based upon the Hebrew Scriptures. The CD is a pure delight. The lyrics are witty and insightful and the music catchy. The first time we popped the CD into the CD player, I found myself really listening. I then noticed that Sophia was really into it. It has become our favorite CD and is constantly playing in the background. We can’t get enough of it.

I look forward to getting the complimentary CD, Why Not Sea Monsters?, in which the songs are based upon the New Testament scriptures. I’m guessing it will be just as good.

MOMMY!

Laura took this video today of Ira at Feeding Camp. Good times.

happy bday, bklyn brdg

It’s a little past midnight on Thursday. I just got home and did so by driving over the Brooklyn Bridge. It was beautifully lit with huge blue-green spotlights. Other spotlights were beaming into the air off of the bridge. All of this pomp for the big birthday bash being thrown for the bridge tonight. It’s 125 years old today.

People, if you are coming to the city you must, MUST, walk over The Bridge. Even though it’s a good little hike, you will not regret making the trek. (And while you’re at it, come see us. We don’t live that far away!)

Happy Birthday, Brooklyn Bridge. Happy Birthday.

pred

Based upon last night’s performance, David Archuleta will be crowned our new American Idol. However, he will soon be lost in a music industry that does not know what to do with him (see Clay Aiken) while David Cook goes on to sell millions of pop-rock albums.

live and leave

Do you remember the 1997 commencement speech called Wear Sunscreen? It was said that Kurt Vonnegut gave the speech at MIT’s commencement that year. In reality, Mary Schmich wrote an article for the Chicago Tribute titled Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young. She wrote that it would be the commencement speech she would give if she were asked to give one.

At one point in the article Schmich advises, Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. You don’t have to live in NYC to know, on a cerebral level, what Schmich is saying here. NYC is both an incredible place to experience and a hard place to live.

Many of you have visited and/or live in NYC. Tell me, what makes NYC incredible? And what makes it hard to live here?

country

She may take to the country yet.

honeymoon is over but the commute is not

Laura gives a much more personal account of all this HERE.

Laura called me as soon as she arrived at the feeding clinic on Thursday morning. Ira was not happy. The honeymoon was officially over. I’m glad we had two days of bliss to begin with but Ira’s no dummy. He realized in the car on Thursday morning that we were serious about this eating thing and he didn’t like it one bit. According to Laura, he cried the final fifteen minutes in the car. And for parents who aren’t used to hearing (like seriously hearing) their child cry, well, it was a big deal. And things didn’t necessarily get better throughout the day. Honeymoon periods are nice, aren’t they? But they eventually come to an end.

In related news, Laura sat down with the feeding clinic team on Thursday afternoon to talk about goals. The team was very frank with Laura and how they thought things would go down with Ira. According to the team, Ira’s got a long way to go. Therefore, it will be a long time before Ira is eating like typically developing children his age. With the help of the team realistic goals were set. As I can discern we’ve got two goals: One, hopefully we can get Ira to eat pureed foods by the end of the feeding camp. And, two, by eating I mean getting about an ounce of food into him at each meal. In other words, most of his nutrition will still come from tube feeding. This was the realistic wake-up call we needed to hear.

That news was a bit jarring and was hard to hear. We had our hopes up and so it was hard not to hear that news as bad news. On the other hand, that’s a step in the right direction so we’re ultimately happy about that. It’s just that we were hoping to shoot for the moon with this eating thing!

But to counter that news was the news that Ira got a spot in a school that Laura and I have been very impressed with. Ira will be going to a YAI school in Manhattan called Gramercy. We’re so excited about this because it’s a top-notch school with tons of services. And they seemed really excited about Ira fitting into their program.

Back to the feeding clinic, the commute is crazy. I’m wondering how some of you do that day in and day out. How do you do an hour commute one way every day? How? Doesn’t it suck the life right out of you? Is it worth living that far way from you job? I’ve heard people say things like I spend my time in the car winding down before going home to the family or I make use of that time listening to edifying radio programs or the silence in the car is good for me but every day? I’m not buying it. Someone enlighten me. Why are Americans commuting such long distances every day of their lives?

buckle up

It’s my day at the feeding clinic. (We call it Eating School.) It’s about 2 and I’ve already watched them feed Ira three different times. One more to go this afternoon. Here’s how the feeding sessions go down:

The session begins with Ira choosing a toy and a book. The feeding therapist then straps Ira in a high chair. The strapping mechanism is like a car seat and they treat it as such in that Ira is so secure that he can hardly move. Then the feeding begins.

Ira opens his mouth just fine and allows the therapist to enter his mouth with a spoon. The problem is the tongue. Ira retracts his tongue in an effort to defend his airway. And when he doesn’t retract it, the tongue is hardened. Neither retraction nor hardening of the tongue is good. And so for now Ira’s tongue is the main focus in these sessions. They aren’t worried about the mouth closing or swallowing at this juncture. In fact, there is very little substance on the spoon at all.

With one hand the therapist holds Ira’s chin and says, “flat tongue.” She waits for Ira’s tongue to go flat and then lays the spoon on top of the tongue. She does this thirty times. In between each “bite” Ira is allowed to play with a toy or look at a book. But just for a second. And then the therapist says, “my turn.”

The therapist gives high-fives and shouts “good job” after every bite. Ira’s loves it. And for the most part, he does really well. After the second feeding today, the therapist told me that his tongue is softening. And only after two days!

I witness all this standing in a hall while looking through a one way window. There are two other rooms where therapists are working with kids. Those parents are standing at their windows as well. The two doctors of the clinic go from window to window explaining what the feeding therapists are attempting to accomplish. I’m very impressed with the program.

What I’m not so impressed with is Paterson, NJ. Ugh. It is Paterson and other cities in NJ like it (think Trenton) that earn NJ the moniker The Armpit of the US. But within this black-eye of a city lies the feeding clinic that is successfully teaching children of all types what most of us take for granted. And for that, Paterson and the clinic will always have a place in my heart.

intelligent

My two older sisters were smart. I wasn’t. My mom and dad did their very best to never compare me to my sisters and they valued me for who I was but the system can be cruel. It was painstakingly clear that I just didn’t have the intellectual chops that my sisters possessed. They both graduated as valedictorians of their high school classes. Me? I was lucky to be in the top ten…of a very small graduating class. Very small. Did I mention it was small?

Then I made the Dean’s List after my first semester at A&M. The Dean’s List of those on academic probation, that is. I came home that Christmas break with a stellar 1.8 GPA. I don’t really remember Mom and Dad’s response but I’m sure it had something to do with the old saying, Shape Up or Ship Out! My mom was fond of saying that. I decided to shape up and from that point on, I took the pursuit of all things academic seriously.

It was during this time that I read Howard Gardner’s book Multiple Intelligences. In the book, Gardner challenged old-school notions that intelligence is a single entity that can be measured using standardized tests. He proposed that there are actually seven types of intelligences - two of which we usually associate intelligence with (linguistics, logical-mathematical), three associated with the arts (musical, bodily-kinesthetic, spatial) and two called personal intelligences (interpersonal and intrapersonal). His hope was that educators would straighten up and take note that many of their students possessed intelligences that were outside the scope of the old-school understanding.

Because I had such a hard time in school and because I know the world values “smart” people I want Sophia and Ira to excel in the traditional academy. And while they may do exactly that, I can already see these other intelligences rising up within them. The education system may not value them but I’ll take my cues from my mom and dad and value my kids for who they are. And really, at this stage of the game, isn’t that all that matters?